The Beauty and The Pain (of Love)
I saw a beautiful sight the last couple of times that I went to the gym, an older man and women who appeared married would both be at the same machine to work a certain muscle group. As she sat down he would gently guide her hands to the handles of the machine and speak to her of the movement she would be mimicking, and as she started he would watch intently and patiently. I assume this lady is blind or is suffering from some sort of degeneration of her eyes. What a patient and beautiful man. All I could do was smile my best smile at him as he lead her out- hand in hand- at her pace on the way out. This love is real, it has suffering and yet draws those around them to stop and think of how we are loving.
I’d like to think I do ok, as a single person is a small town, I understand the situation I put myself in, social circles are smaller and it is harder to meet someone. Yet the fact remains I’ve never been in a serious relationship. This doesn’t mean I haven’t tried, or dated or w.e. When do I have to take initiative? Do I have to? There are guys that I would date around here, how do you even hint at them without it getting weird fast. I’ve been told "what are you doing wrong"… you have all the qualities…..x,y,z. Excuse me but piss off.
I think we are given the Holy Spirit for a reason. One of the main ways I see the Holy Spirit being a guide is in helping a person discern. Also, I’m tired of advice from older people who give me cliques you can stop because I have already stopped listening to you.
I have so many beautiful examples around me of love both of friendships, friends who are married etc. I know my main mission in life right now is to love. That is my vocation as a single person. For me that is working and serving with my hands and creative talents if possible. I do know how to love, but I think what myself and other singles struggle with is actually taking the time to understand if I can love myself on a Friday or Saturday night alone. Sometimes I take long runs with “Rise Against” blaring because I’m pissed off at my incompetence to understand what the heck God wants from me or why I’m stubborn and not looking in the right places for love. I cannot fix myself, I have to take off my running shoes, earbuds, and be still and listen. We don’t have to be alone as single people we just need to make sure we nourish ourselves before we deplete ourselves. I’m not an expert and I suppose that is why I’m writing now. Please be nice if you leave comments. St. Raphael pray for us singles.
